The Cowboy Academic (MERH)
At the end of the day, you gently hang up your sweat-moistened ten-gallon hat and shuffle off your worn-out, well-loved riding boots. You've been out riding your Subaru hard--the dust of teaching three sessions of Introduction to English Studies is still going to feel like it's clinging to you long after you've washed in the creek and set a fat steak sizzling on the grill. Only when you sink beneath your cactus-print sheets and start to dream about that charming stranger you met on an idle hundred-degree day--the heat burning away all your higher functions as you slunk into some two-bit saloon back in Oklahoma City, the place where you first saw them writing something in that little book on the table. . . if you packed up your things and went back tonight, you probably wouldn't find them there. They might not even remember. No, best to keep things as is, ain't no use for sentiment--only when you let go of what might have been will you really feel free from that Science Fiction and Fantasy section you were asked to take over on short notice.
You're hard-nosed and focused enough to get through the day, but your heart demands a better calling and worse habits. Your friends think you're fun, in a reckless kind of way, but are a little worried the cowboy stuff is getting out of hand. That’s ‘cause they think you're an electric candle pretending you're fire, but really you're a tiny fire trapped between two rivers, and you're gonna play it slow and not use up all this fuel, not quite yet, and maybe someday you'll jump the river and burn down a whole forest. You were a cowboy for eight minutes this morning and you’ll try for two hours tonight, as well. You're lighting little fires all across the prairie, ‘cause that’s what cowboys do.
Notable Cowboy Academics
Elmo
Shrek
Troy Bolton
Indiana Jones
Unpacking Your Type
The M in your type stands for Modernist. You communicate with clarity. People find you reasonable, well-spoken, and/or dismal.
The E in your type stands for Elton. Elton John, that is! You're spontaneous and go with the flow.
The R in your type stands for Roni. Pepperonis have fun bad habits. Your heart belongs to chaos and that's pretty rad.
The H in your type stands for Heel. You're antiheroic. If your life had an audience, the audience would probably sympathize with, but not admire, you.