Manager of a Trader Joe’s (PESF)

Find someone, quickly, and tell them about your health habits. Hurry! 

Okay, I hope you did it because just in the time it took you to take our quiz, your Impulse to Brag About Health was severely depleted. People DO admire you for the way you take care of yourself, and your friends genuinely treasure you. They also, however, sometimes get tired of how often you shit-talk the healthy food section of Walmart. You’re just very passionate and almost emotional about what you do and who you are. If we didn’t have people like you, who would keep the Trader Joe’s brand alive? You do the world a service it didn’t even know it needed.

Fortunately, a previous Manager consulted his favorite Gwyneth Paltrow Goop™ jade crystal last week and informed us that his fellow Trader Joe’s Managers would each, individually, like to know that sometimes it does get tiring going to seven Yoga/ Meditation Guided Experiences With Dr. Thyme Rainbow Star each month, and that even though your star chart occasionally indicates that you might be the problem, it’s wrong. The crystal also indicated that the double-creme brie is on sale this week for 6.99/lb.

Notable Managers of a Trader Joe’s

Katara

Mary Poppins

Unpacking Your Type

The P in your type stands for Postmodernist. You communicate with passion. People find you exciting and/ or confusing.

The E in your type stands for Elton. Elton John, that is! You're spontaneous and go with the flow.

The S in your type stands for Shroom. Mushrooms have sad good habits. You have a positive influence on those around you, but is that what you really want???

The F in your type stands for Face. You're heroic. If your life had an audience, they would probably admire, but not sympathize with, you.