Elementary School Principal (MBSF)

This year’s batch of kindergarteners look especially fragile, and so you take special care while high-fiving them as they file into their classroom to disjointedly shout letters and numbers at their teacher for the next half hour. Today is the day when you will be permitted to enter the classroom and squirt a fist-sized dollop of shaving cream onto each child’s desk for their amusement, and this brings you unspeakable joy. The screenplay you wrote in the early eighties as a young teacher lies discarded in some cabinet alongside a Looney Tunes tie and a half-empty bottle of grease-and-lavender scented cologne you received as an engagement gift in 1992. Some of the senior staff at Mayflower Elementary now linger around your car when you arrive, looking for signs of weakness. But your love for all the members of your school has kept you young in spirit, at least until your enthusiasm for novelty vanilla bacon catches up with you.

You are The Most Responsible Person You Know. Your friends see you as extremely stable (even when you’re not) and that’s because you’re very good at looking and feeling put-together. Some of your most common utterances are things like “Please reconsider this extremely dumb action you’re about to take” and “I promise that vegetables and self-love are good habits, not ‘corporate scams.’” Because you are responsible, you stand up for those with less power and are often noble in ways that don’t come with praise. We love and respect a good elementary school principal.

Notable Elementary School Principals

Mr. Rogers

Clark Kent

Michael Scott

Unpacking Your Type

The M in your type stands for Modernist. You communicate with clarity. People find you reasonable, well-spoken, and/or dismal.

The B in your type stands for Bernie. Bernie Taupin, that is! You're methodical and good at keeping control.

The S in your type stands for Shroom. Mushrooms have sad good habits. You have a positive influence on those around you, but is that what you really want???

The F in your type stands for Face. You're heroic. If your life had an audience, they would probably admire, but not sympathize with, you.