Wendy’s Social Media Manager (PBSH)

You have likely just finished explaining that you’re a Type 4 on the Enneagram. Your emotions run wild and you’re insufferably creative. Your friends love you because you’re witty and though you are a threatening presence, you are not an inherently malevolent one. You're not prone to losing control, but you're impulsive in the sense that when an impulse catches you, you can lose all sense of context and end up making year-long decisions that you'll later post about on medium.com in maudlin tones. When you’re not trying to scam us proles into giving more money to Wendy Herself, you’re most likely on tumblr.com sadposting about your life. Don’t worry, though. You’ll delete anything that gets less than 10 notes by tomorrow morning.

You have good habits, but your emotions are so out of control that it’s hard to see those habits behind the constant drama. You’re prone to crying more than is perhaps socially acceptable, but that’s one of the things that makes you who you are. We love to hear about your issues because it’s satisfying to know those issues don’t include us. You are, however, extremely good at your job because while you might be personally a mess, you kick professional ass by finding creative solutions to problems that may or may not have even needed solving.

Notable Wendy’s Social Media Managers

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Herman Melville

Lesbian Youtubers Breaking Up In a Video

Unpacking Your Type

The P in your type stands for Postmodernist. You communicate with passion. People find you exciting and/ or confusing.

The B in your type stands for Bernie. Bernie Taupin, that is! You're methodical and good at keeping control.

The S in your type stands for Shroom. Mushrooms have sad good habits. You have a positive influence on those around you, but is that what you really want???

The H in your type stands for Heel. You're antiheroic. If your life had an audience, the audience would probably sympathize with, but not admire, you.