Raul, the Specter Who Haunts Ricky's Outspokin Tires
You side with Raul, the Specter Who Haunts Ricky's Outspokin Tires
Arnold: My name is Arnold Kim, I’m an intern bike consultant at Ricky’s Outspokin Tires. I’m here to talk about the ghost that showed up there.
SG: Is the bike consultant thing a paid position?
A: No, it’s more about the exposure. Bikes are a competitive field, so you kinda have to pay your respects before you get to do the paying work like filling tires.
SG: When did you first encounter the ghost?
A: When I started working there the other interns already had a rumor that a ghost would float around in the back room after 9pm on Thursdays. Like a sort of fog that would hang around and rust the bike parts when you weren’t looking, and sometimes when all the bike wheels would start spinning in the shop at the same time we would be like “oh noo, it’s the ghost!” Like we were just hanging out. But then after about a month of that, Ron, who’s been an intern for two years, said he saw the ghost on a Saturday and soon people started to say they could see the ghost all the time.
SG: Wait, how many interns are there?
A: There are seven of us. Ricky’s the only full-time employee. He said he tries to work as little as possible so we interns can get more training hours. It makes things kinda exhausting and I keep borrowing money from my parents to pay rent, but Ricky told me last month that I’m employee material and he has his eye on me for a promotion so I’m still trying to put in as many hours as possible.
SG: Let’s get back to the ghost.
A: Yeah the first time I saw the ghost it was my third month of working there. I was sandpapering some rusty gears in the back room, and suddenly I heard this voice from right behind me: “Hey, nice whistling.” Oh, I forgot to mention that I was whistling “My Girl” by the Temptations. I think that’s one of Raul’s favorite songs.
SG: Raul?
A: The ghost is named Raul. When I first saw him I thought he was just a really pale guy, but when you look at him from the side he’s like a inch thick. Also once I walked through him on accident and let me tell you he’s like 10% substantial.
SG: That must’ve been a shocking experience.
A: Nah, my grandma’s also a ghost so I’m pretty used to it. Like I wish he warned me he was there but it’s kinda the ghost thing to spook someone once in a while. I kept seeing him around and soon I’d see him on all my Monday shifts. We’d talk about work and stuff. But later I asked him why he was a ghost and he told me this big story.
Raul is Ricky’s father-in-law. When Ricky wanted to open Outspokin Tires he put up like $20,000 to help Ricky with the business expenses. And he liked to swing by, because he liked bikes and thought Ricky was doing a great thing. He liked to come by and smell the bikes and shake everyone’s hand. I heard Ricky’s Outspokin Tires was actually doing really well and they had like ten full-time employees, but suddenly Ricky started cutting everyone’s hours and hiring more interns. Later he fired some of the old employees and re-hired them as interns. Raul figured out what was happening pretty quickly and he was really fired up about it. He told me he came in and had a big fight with Ricky, and he shouted stuff like “you’re bad for my daughter” and “these are illegal business practices and you deserve to be in Bike Prison.” He said after that big fight he decided to go to the Department of Labor’s Bike and Golf Bureau and report the whole thing. But then something tragic happened.
SG: Did Ricky kill him?
A: No, actually Raul died of a stomach thing after eating three funnel cakes in a row too quickly. After that, Ricky just kept on with business as usual.
SG: What’s your personal impression of Raul?
A: I think he’s nice, really sincere. A little much when he talks about Ricky but he tries to keep it casual. He’s really into high-fives and finger guns, but he’s a middle-aged ghost who had a hard life and I think it’s actually going pretty well for him so the corny stuff is understandable. Actually, he looks pretty good these days. Y’know, in a dad way. (laughs) When he first started haunting the bike shop he was carrying some extra weight, but he started doing a lot of pushups and now sometimes he floats around shirtless in the back room. He wants to show off his abs.
SG: Can you explain why Raul is one of the major contenders for the position of Supreme Thing Which Goes Bump in the Night? It doesn’t really align with the story you’ve been telling so far.
A: I think the other ghosts just really sympathize with Raul’s story. When he asked me to do an interview with you guys to spread the word, I was really surprised but like obviously I wanted to help him out. He gave me a note to read, do you want me to read it?
SG: Yes.
A: “Hi, I’m Raul, the Specter Who Haunts Ricky’s Outspokin Tires. I started this campaign in order to bring attention to Ricky’s foul business practices. I honestly thought at first I could just report Ricky, but the Department of Labor refuses to accept complaints from ghosts. Also, my daughter can’t see me and when I try to contact her by ringing a cobweb-covered rotary telephone in the basement at 3am every night, she refuses to answer it. However, as I spoke to my ethereal friends and neighbors, I realized that we had a lot of problems in common.
Most ghosts haunt spaces occupied by minimum-wage employees, and so we find that their working conditions are our living conditions. The loss of haunted green spaces like poorly-lit public parks and courtyards filled with menacing statues has likewise made our cities more hostile to both my fellow undead and the mortals we love to haunt. Finally, as a ghost I’m usually invisible and so I’ve witnessed a lot of casual sexism in our workplaces, and I’m not about that. I’m pledging to spend my first hundred days haunting bosses who mistreat their employees, civil engineers who propose turning green spaces into parking lots and expensive condos, and men’s rights activists. After that I’m going to try to get the Department of Labor to overturn its anti-ghost policies so we can get the Ricky thing sorted out. That guy’s bad news. Also, if anyone is in touch with my daughter Melissa please tell her that when she is awoken by a single long, fingerlike tree branch tapping against her window it’s just dear old dad.”
SG: OK that’s a big help actually. Thanks, Arnold.
A: So like Ricky won’t know that I told you this stuff, right?
SG: Nah, we’re gonna go through and anonymize your name and stuff.
(Ed note: Clair when you read this can you go back through and change all Arnold’s info? I gotta go to the dentist so I’m leaving early. -Luke)
(Ed note: oops...too late now I guess. -Clair)
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